i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
