They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
