don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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