I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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