I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Boobs are out for the taking
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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