let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
