just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My cat gives me a boner
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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