i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
