I want to walk on stilts...naked
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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