Dual....:-)
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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