this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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