Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
