Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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