My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
