Me too!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
