I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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