Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well I just put wine in my tea
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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