Already got asked if we're dating
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
