Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
