bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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