Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
