nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
