I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize