do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
