no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize