Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize