She is in my trunk
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
