Kiss
Puke
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
