yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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