maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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