Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
