how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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