hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
