mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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