i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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