we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
