Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
