So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
