i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
