Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
