I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
