Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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