i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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