I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I touched a dick in church today
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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