The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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