uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They took my balls.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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