i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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