In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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