whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
