Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize