I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
