OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
