my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
