# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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