i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
