where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
