oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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