I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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