I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
