When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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