one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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