Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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