I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
